Paper Kirby: The Thousand Year Door

[WaddleDee64]

Hello everybody. This is a little fan fiction I made sometime ago. Before I actually start it, I might as well give you a little background of the 2 main characters (Kirby & Waddle Dee) to avoid confusion. I'll also throw information about a character that's important to the plot, but you may be unfamiliar with. So here we goes.

Kirby
Gender: Male
Species: Kirby

The pink puffball hero that we all know & love. He has a super ability to suck up his opponents & copy their powers (but you knew that already). Everybody in town thinks he's a great hero, but Kirby believes he's just a regular guy chosen to save the world all the time. Nevertheless, he'll do his heroic duty & save Pop Star.

Waddle Dee
Gender: Male
Species: Waddle Dee/Waddle Doo

Kirby's totally violent friend. He likes to answer question with a parasol, hammer, sword, or any other weapon he can get a hold of. Usually tagging on with Kirby, he'll "answer" any question Kirby doesn't. He comes from a family of Waddle Doos, with 10 brothers torturing him since he was 3. Rumor has it that he is afraid of tasers.

Keeby
Gender: Male
Species: Kirby

A yellow Kirby. Keeby is Kirby's cousin and a stupid one at that. He'll just do whatever pops up in his little mind first. And that is usually something dumb. Waddle Dee despies him & does whatever he can to make sure Keeby isn't involve with anything he's doing. Unfortunatly, Keeby's too dumb to realize that Waddle Dee doesn't want him anywhere with him. So Waddle Dee's pretty much screwed.

The story starts at the following post.

[WaddleDee64]

Chapter 0-1: Prologue Part 1

TV Announcer: And now, FOX is back with “That 90’s Show.”
(A guy walks into a room with 2 other people in there)
Guy 1: Wassup!
Guy 2: Wassup!
Guy 3: Wassup!
(Phone rings)
Guy 2: Hold up… (picks up phone) Hello?
Bill Clinton: Hello, I’m President Bill Clinton, and I just wanted to say…WASSUP!
Guy 2: Wassup!
Guy 1: Wassup!
Guy 3: Wassup!
Guy 2: Wass-
Guy 1: Aaaaaa-
Guy 3: Uppp!
(Television static appears. Shows the Head-On commercial)
TV Announcer: Head-On: Apply directly to the forehead. Head-On: Apply directly to the forehead. Head-On: Apply directly to the forehead. Head-On: Apply directly to the forehead. Head-On: Apply directly to the fore-
(TV gets hit by a rocket. Shows Waddle Dee with a rocket launcher and Kirby with a coco bar)
Waddle Dee: I hate that commercial!
Kirby: (takes out of the coco bar) Is that what they really did in the 90’s?
Waddle Dee: I dunno. Well…I’m bored. (mutters) Stupid Head-On commercial…make me blow up Kirby’s $15 TV.
Kirby: Wait, that was $15? I bought it at, like, $200.
Waddle Dee: Where the crap did you buy it at?
(Switches to Akbar’s Cheap Electronics Wonder Emporium)
Akbar: Heh heh, sucker.
(Switches back to Kirby’s House)
Waddle Dee: Well, it is official…I’m bored out of my mind.
Kirby: We’ve played every board game, video game, and watched every TV show ever known to man…even the bad, for-adults-only crap.
Waddle Dee: I can’t believe they watch that. (shudders)
Kirby: (Sighs)…wait…
Waddle Dee: What?
Kirby: We have that transport box thingy that takes us to different universes.
Waddle Dee: No…way! Last time we used that thing, we destroyed all the baby shows on PBS…wait, that’s a good thing, right?
Kirby: So? It’s better risking others’ lives than us being bored. And besides, if we go on a big adventure, we don’t go to school! I’ve already got Keeby an excuse slip.
(Switches to Keeby)
Keeby: “Kirby…and…Waddle Dee…have …uh…a…highly…contagious…pretendix…decease…” What the- meh. (eats excuse clip) Taste like blatant lies!
(Switches to Kirby & Waddle Dee)
Waddle Dee: Fine! I’ll go, but only because I’m bored.
Kirby: Sweet! Now, I don’t know where to go, so let’s play RANDOM UNIVERSE ROULETTE!
(Box flashes through 100 names and lands on “Paper Mario”)
Waddle Dee: What the crap is Paper…
(ZAP!)
Kirby: Hey! We’ve made it! And look! I’m paper!
Waddle Dee: Hey, that pretty cool. But…uh…how are we standing on a cloud?
(Zooms to see Kirby & Waddle Dee standing on a cloud. They fall down 2 seconds later. Kirby & Waddle Dee yell)
(Meanwhile, down at Mario’s House, a Mail Paratroopa puts a letter in a mailbox labeled “Mario” painted on it and “& Luigi the Awesome!!!” on a piece of tape taped on the mailbox)
Mail Paratroopa: Mail call. (Flies away)
(Luigi comes out the door and gets the mail. He then comes into the house, where Mario is watching a movie on a DVD player)
Luigi: Mario!
(No reply)
Luigi: Mario!
(Again, no reply)
Luigi: (yelling) MARIO!
(Mario falls out of his chair)
Luigi: Letter for you, bro.
Peach: (voiceover) “Dear Mario, I’ve bought this treasure map from a merchant in Rougeport. Please come and help me find it. I’ll be waiting. Truly Yours, Princess Peach. P.S. Luigi, please wear underwear today.”
Luigi: Wow, treasure hunting. Just like the movies you were watching a few minutes ago until I abruptly stopped you.
Mario: (grumbles)
Luigi: Uh…you better get ready bro.
(Kirby falls from the roof and hits Mario on the head, knocking him out)
Kirby: Ow…that hurt like crap…
Luigi: You knocked out my bro!
Kirby: Yeah, sorry ‘bouts that.
Luigi: Well, at least it can’t get any worse.
(Waddle Dee falls on Mario’s back wearing spiking cleats)
Waddle Dee: What? Can’t a guy wear cleats while freefalling?
Kirby: Never say “at least it can’t get any worse.”
Luigi: Well, my brother is knocked out and has severe back damage. And he was just about to go on an adventure.
Waddle Dee: Well, tough luck, Sir Pees-his-pants.
(Luigi sees the transporter box in Kirby’s hands and snatches it)
Kirby: HEY!
Luigi: If you take my bro’s place, I’ll give you this back.
Waddle Dee: We need that to get home, General Greenwuss.
Luigi: All the more reason you take my bro’s place.
Kirby: Okay, but on one condition.
Luigi: You already have a “one condition.”
Waddle Dee: Shut up, Whinimheier! Let the idiot talk.
Kirby: Can I get some peanut brittle?
Luigi: Sure it’s in the fridge.
Waddle Dee: So where are we going? And how long does it take to get there?
Luigi: Rougeport, about 3 days.
Kirby: 3 days?
Waddle Dee: Don’t worry, Kirby. We’ll just do a wipe.
Kirby: Oh, cool! Wait, what’s a wipe?
(Switches to next scene, showing a boat sailing across the ocean. On the sky, it says “Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door.” “Mario” gets crossed off and “Kirby” appears next to it. It then fades to black)

More stuffs later! Yay! :D

[Kr1sP]

lawl it's pretty good man. needs more real life jokes IMO but i did laugh...ALOT. and when i say real life jokes i mean if kirby does like a double slap make waddledee make a joke about chris brown. good though 5/5 (i just like life jokes, like on family guy)

[MomsKirbyok]

hi waddle dee remember me i raced u on mario kart

ill subscribe to this thread

[MomsKirbyok]

make a mario kart hub waddledee tommorow :)

[Paper_M@rio]

really great fanfic Waddledee64 its really funny, when you have it completed, you should send it into a publisher or something. Its really great. P.S. I gave you Karma since it was so awesome. Your fanfic is better than Family guy and those other funny shows. Keep up the good work!

[WaddleDee64]

Whee! The next part of Paper Kirby! I'm working as hard as I can for the next part.Thanks for all who read this. And now the next part!

Chapter 0-2: Prologue Part 2

Voice: Hello?
(No response)
Voice: Yo, puffball and mutant thingy…
(Again, no response)
Voice: You can buy video games for one coin.
(Switches to Waddle just waking up)
Waddle Dee: Huh, wha-, videos for a coin? Kirby, get the crap up!
(Zooms out to reveal Kirby sleeping on another bed on top of Waddle Dee’s)
Waddle Dee: (sighs)
(Waddle Dee gets a hammer and starts swinging it at the bottom of Kirby’s Bed)
Kirby: Huh? Wha-? Ack! Earthquake! Duck, cover, scream! AAAAHHH!
Waddle Dee: Kirby, there no freaking earthquake!
Kirby: Huh? Oh, hey Waddle Dee!
Captain (a.k.a. the Voice): Finally, you morons are awake! We’ve arrived at Rougeport.
Waddle Dee: Yeah, whatever. Where are the video games?
Captain: There are no video games! I just said that so you could wake up.
Waddle Dee: Well, don’t do it again, or else I’ll introduce you to my friends, Hammer (holds up a Hammer in his left hand) and Rocket Launcher (holds up a Rocket Launcher in his right hand).
Captain: Okay, shut up…
(Switches scene to the boat arriving at Rougeport. The boat then turns the other way and goes into the open see. Upon leaving, Kirby and Waddle Dee are seen standing at the docks)
Kirby: Well, we’re here.
Waddle Dee: Yeah, let’s hurry up and find the treasure so I can do whatever the crap I want!
Kirby: Yeah…
(Girl Screams)
Kirby: What was that?
(Switches scene to reveal a female Goomba talking to some X-nauts)
X-naut: Give me information about the thousand year door!
Goomba: Never, you ugly whatdoyoucallits! Besides, I don’t even know what you’re talking about!
X-naut: Yeah, you do! And I can get the information the easy way, or the hard way.
Waddle Dee: There’s a hard way?
Kirby: Never mind that, that girl’s in danger! THE PIPES HAVE BROKEN!
Waddle Dee: What?
Kirby: Tornado Kick!
(Kirby jumps, starts spinning, then spin kicks the X-naut)
X-naut: Ow! Well, you’re a good fighter, I got to admit that, but…MOB OF X-NAUTS, ATTACK!
(A bunch of X-nauts attack Kirby and the Goomba. They make this really weird lump thing formation)
Waddle Dee: Holy crap! (gets out rocket launcher) I’m shooting that thingy!
(shoots rockets at lump. X-nauts gradually fly away)
X-naut: What the crap? The mob, it’s shrinking!
(Kirby & the Goomba burst of the weird lump thing)
Kirby: Time for a serious butt kicking!
X-naut: (screams like a girl and runs away)
Goomba: What a wuss…

[Paper_M@rio]

nice second part, although it isn't as funny as the first part.
Keep up the good work, I like the way you're going with this. :)

[WaddleDee64]

I'm back! I finished Chapter 0-3 in 2 days (new record!). This chapter isn't really as funny as the other two because I needed to advance the plot. Otherwise, Kirby & Waddle Dee would be stuck in the Town Square. So I hope that makes things more clear.

Chapter 0-3: Prologue Part 3

(Kirby, Waddle Dee, & the Goomba go into the central plaza)
Goomba: Thanks for saving me, you two.
Kirby: No problem. Right Waddle Dee?
(Waddle Dee is just staring at the Goomba)
Kirby: WADDLE DEE!
Waddle Dee: Huh? Wha-? Eh? Um…Rhinofeeder!
(Goomba & Kirby look at him in a weird way)
Waddle Dee: What? It’s a good game.
Goomba: Anyways, my name is Goombella. I’m a student of the University of Goom.
Kirby: That’s great. So what’s a girl like you doing in this city that’s quite possibly evil?
Goombella: I’m trying to find my old professor. I haven’t seen him in a while & I really wanted to see him again.
Kirby: Oh. Well, can you help us?
Waddle Dee: Why are you asking a total stranger for help, Kirby?
Kirby: Because I wanted to! PIE!
(Kirby gets a pie and throws it at Waddle Dee)
Waddle Dee: Uh…
Goombella: Weird…anyways what do you need help with?
Kirby: Well, we have a treasure map & we’re trying to find a princess.
Goombella: Which one, exactly? There are like a billion of them, including Princess Daisy of Sarasara Land, Princess Nobody from Nobodycarelund, and (reaches into a bag and pulls out a picture) Princess Fantasumist of Awesomeland.
Kirby: Hey, that looks like Waddle Dee in a-
Waddle Dee: (quickly) OMGIGOD! A piece of pizza! (eats photo) (slowly, in a weird, distrusting way) You didn’t see anything!
Goombella: Weird…
Kirby: A-ditto. Anyways, I’m talking about Princess Peach of Mushroom Kingdom.
Goombella: That one? The one that’s get harass by Bowser everyday?
Waddle Dee: I wouldn’t put it as “harass,” but yes.
Goombella: Wow! She’s world-famous! Mario too! How did you two screw-ups end up with her?
Kirby: Um, we gave Mario a back injury & a concussion.
Goombella: You jerks! Why would you do that?
Waddle Dee: It was an accident! Well, ‘cept the back injury. I should’ve seen that coming…
Kirby: Anyway, here’s the map thingy. (hands the map to Goombella)
Goombella: Hmm…intriguing…
Waddle Dee: Well?
Goombella: I can’t seem to make anything out. How about we meet up with my old professor?
Kirby: Sounds like a plan!
(Kirby, Waddle Dee, & Goombella walk to Rougeport’s western gate)
Voice: Coming through!
(A bandit runs past Kirby & his friends)
Kirby: Did something happen?
Waddle Dee: Kirby, are you blind? That dude stole our coins!
(Kirby gasps)
Waddle Dee: Don’t worry. I’ll take care of this. You guys go on without me. I have important business to attend.
(Waddle Dee walks away. Meanwhile, Kirby & Goombella go into the Professor’s office)
Goombella: Hey Professor Frankly!
Frankly: Uh, what? Hello? Do I know you?
Goombella: Professor, do you remember me? Old student, really smart, knocked out Strong Sad?
Frankly: Um, Goomshe? Goomette? Goomy? Pieman?
Goombella: Professor, please think.
Frankly: Uh, Goomerette? Pieman?
Kirby: This is stupid. Let me see if I can help…
(Kirby slaps Frankly)
Frankly: Oh! Now I got it!
(Kirby & Goombella lean in excitingly)
Frankly: PIEMAN!
(Kirby & Goombella fall down)
Goombella: You got to be kidding me!
Kirby: Who knew the old man had such bad memory & a pie obsession?
(Waddle Dee comes back in with a bag of coins weighting at 20 pounds and puts on the table)
Waddle Dee: Ow…my back…
Kirby: I don’t having that much money stolen.
Waddle Dee: Well, the thief became the thief’d.
Goombella: So you stole from him?
Waddle Dee: Yeah, kinda ironic, isn’t it?
Frankly: Oh, hey Waddle Dee.
Waddle Dee: Wait, how do you know my name?
Frankly: How should I frigging know? I don’t know the name of my old student, yet I know the name of a stranger.
Goombella: That’s weird.
Kirby: A-ditto.
Goombella: Well, I’m Goombella, remember?
Kirby: Actually, her name is Pieman!
Frankly: Um, okay.
Goombella: Hey! That’s not nice!
Kirby: Hey, I might as well choose a name he can remember.
Waddle Dee: Yeah, and be glad I didn’t choose the name. Otherwise, it’ll be worse than Pieman.
Kirby: Can we please get back on subject?
Goombella: Um, yeah, sure. Anyway, Prof. Frankly, we’ve found this very intriguing map.
(Goombella hands the map to Frankly. A “!!!” bubble appears over his head)
Waddle Dee: What the crap?
Frankly: Could it be?
(Frankly quickly runs to a big stack of books & pulls one out that reads “The 1000 Year Treasure & the Seven Crystal Stars)
Goombella: Well?
Frankly: Where did you get a hold of this?
Kirby: We got it from Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom, I think.
Frankly: Amazing! This is fantastic! I can’t believe it!
Waddle Dee: What, old guy? What is so frigging amazing?
Frankly: This is the fabled treasure map to the 1000 year treasure!
Kirby, Waddle Dee, & Goombella: (Gasp!)

Chapter 0-4 in progress! See you peoples next time!:D

[Nintendogirl456]

Haha I like this. Can't wait to see what happens next. X)