Once upon a time, chicken wings took over the universe. How? Well, they hypnotized the people making the new Indiana Jones, forcing them to crap on unicorns and eat snot. Out of nowhere, a pincone came, grabbed a cane, and started beating the chicken wings with it. But it wasn't enough to kill them. Then Mr. Clean came and got himself an afro.
The world was soon in chaos. Everyone was so shocked to see Mr. Clean in an afro, Mrs. Crazy killed him. Curious George gave Mrs. Crazy a black eye. Darth Vader hunted down Ronald McDonald for Darth Vaderish reasons. After Ronald McDonald was missing for three months, McDonalds shut down.
Elmo was proud of himself for using the bathroom after nine years of holding it in. After murdering a stickman, Abraham Lincoln went on to be the most hated man in Forks, Washington.* Christmas came and went, and for Hannah Williams, it was all right. She got married to Albus Dumbledore. Mr. KFC rejected, but no use. After 17 years of marriage, Hannah died. So Albus joined the gang, "Kill the Chicken Wings".
Then, Applebees was sued for being the creator of the chicken wings. Then the world was back to normal.
*Courtesy of Twilight